I have a quirky personality disorder where I need to know for sure, with no doubt, the answer or outcome or whatever of a particular situation. Pretty sure doesn't cut it. Absolute certainty is necessity. It contributes to some of the self-inflicted fears and neurotic episodes I experience.
Example: Many times I can be pretty sure I locked the door. But pretty sure wont cut it. So I second guess myself and check a second time to make sure I locked it. Or a third time, or... I'm the guy you might catch quadruple checking (to be conservative) the light switch, staring at it waiting for it to flip on on its own accord after I have checked it a million times already. And why behave like this...? Don't ask. Not sure. Does it really matter if the light is off anyway??!
I guess it's why I was good in math. Math is black and white. 2+2 = 4 right? No way around it. My problem is that I let my peace of mind be dictated on what I can control, what I "think" I know for certain.
I stress my wife out with the way I think when I describe it do her (or she observes it) and she is not even the one thinking it!
Moral of the story? Not sure, except that I feel better getting this off my chest. And, my wife lovingly encouraged me the other day with a new revelation for me...
It's OK to be pretty sure!
Oh. Yea. I knew that.
Bottom line, I'm pretty sure I need to relax a little bit and loosen the illusion of control.
No, I'm absolutely certain.
Wow! Can I relate. This morning I had to look at the grocery cart three times after I put it back to make sure I hadn't left anything there. :-)
ReplyDeleteLOL. Thanks Mom, I'm glad somebody understands me!
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