Perfect Love

I'm a perfectionist.

I'm trying to come to grips with that :0)

It's hard to know you have a problem when you have lived that way for most of your life. When we have an ingrained way of thinking, it's hard to see outside of ourselves objectively at that way of thinking. Thus the importance of friends we trust who can speak into our lives, and the need to hear the voice that matters most in our lives, God's voice.

I feel that the Holy Spirit is revealing my tendency toward perfection to me (thankfully). Through God's help, and the help of trustworthy friends, He is I believe showing me some of the downfalls/negatives/consequences of that way of thinking.

For one, my perfectionist tendencies lead me to live a defeated life. They drive me to works before God and, of course, my works never add up. I come to God and can only think about the ways I fall short – at least to my mind. It's funny though, in His presence I find freedom. When I am in His Presence, I am accepted. The fear and works fall away.

I'm realizing that many times my reason for obedience to the Lord is driven by fear. However, under grace, my motivation for obeying His commands shouldn’t be fear and punishment, rather love and thankfulness.

I'm also realizing that the fear and perfectionism I live with, I pass that on to my kids. Though I would never want to admit to this, it's almost as if they are never accepted by me or "right in my sight" unless they are perfect, or do things just the way Daddy would like. But I have to be honest with myself, it’s the way I live before God, and probably how I lived before my parents, so without realizing it, I pass that pressure/fear/perfectionism on to my wife and children. It's not right or fair to them.

The wonderful thing about God is that when He reveals things in us it's not to just point out our sin and shortcomings and then leave us high and dry, rather, His desire is to bring healing and change. So in the midst of learning about my perfectionist mindset, I am also learning about the remedies...

1 John 4:7-21 speaks about the fact that God is love and that perfect love casts out fear. A remedy to my perfectionism is His love.

Another remedy is realizing that my perfectionism is only gain to me. Paul talked about his accolades, yet referred to them all as gain to him, and counted loss for the sake of Christ.


Finally, there is nothing like Romans 3 to dismantle any sort of attempt to work or be perfect for God's acceptance. None are righteous, none are perfect, not even one. We are justified by His grace as a gift, and there is no boasting in our efforts of abilities.


I'm still learning here. But I am thankful I have a loving God who cares about me enough to mold me into the image of His Son, and make me into a useful vessel for His kingdom.