Change

About one year ago this month, my family and I visited Gatlinburg, TN. The picture above was actually taken up near the Tennessee/North Carolina border, when you travel on Route 441 from Gatlinburg into the Smokey Mountains. It was a beautiful drive.

We hope to visit Gatlinburg again in the near future, and we will more than likely be in the same places we were about one year ago. The only difference is, I hope I am not in the same place.

I hope I am at a different place than I was last year.

What I mean by this is that I hope I am different. I hope I have changed, for the better! Here it is October; 2011 is quickly racing to a close, and it seems I was just reflecting on the changes I wanted to make and goals I wanted to reach in my life for this year.

So tonight I'm considering, am I really different? How am I doing at making those changes I wanted to make at the beginning of the year?

In some ways, I believe I am better. In other ways, I remain the same, or seem to have slipped backwards.

I don't believe we are supposed to stay stagnant and struggle with the same things all our lives. God has made us to be victorious and calls us to holiness.

I am thankful tonight, because the year is not over yet... I am still sucking air, and so I still have another opportunity to change, to get better, to become more like Jesus.

This year, as I visit the same place I was a year ago, I hope I will be in a different place.

Judah

What a night. Tonight we celebrated my son, Judah's, birthday. He just turned the ripe old age of 2. What a thrill that little boy is :) He thrills his daddy's heart.

Pizza, cake, icecream, toys, a movie and a pillow fight later, and I think (hope) everyone is ready for bed.

Numbering Our Days

Moses, in Psalm 90, says,

So teach us to number our days
   that we may get a heart of wisdom.

I had heard this Scripture passage before (or one like it), but didn't really understand it until yesterday.

I've mentioned in another post that my boss and I have had some good conversations over the past several months. We as a company have been pushing and working hard to complete a massive project. It's an exciting and stressful season, and my boss, Bill, and I were talking about an upcoming event where the product will be sold. As we discussed, somehow the topic of the end and brevity of our lives came up.

And I'm glad it did.

Bill began sharing about a guy he once heard about who had a bunch of marbles and two containers of some sort. The man placed marbles representing the number of weekends he had left to live in one container, and the other container held the number of marbles that represented the weekends already spent. As each weekend went by, so one marble was taken out of the number of weekends left, and placed into the number of weekends spent.

Then Bill began an exercise of counting the number of weekends he has left in his life. He estimated the average age of a man to be say 72, and Bill is in his mid to upper fifties.

Talk about a wake up call.

He asked me at one point what would I do if I new I had only 15 years left of my life.

Again, a wake up call.

For some reason, I live as if I will live forever. I'm sure its part of being young, but it seems like at some point in a persons life, they realize that life doesn't really last forever. They realize that most of their life is behind them. Maybe they begin to number their days.

Moses asks the Lord to teach him to number his days, so that he might have a heart of wisdom. When we learn to number our days, it awakens us to the value and meaning in this very moment I now live. It teaches us to be thankful for every day I have on this earth, and to make the most of those days. I don't want to wait until I am older to learn to number my days, rather, I want to learn in my younger years. Life is much shorter than we many times realize.

None of us know when we are going to die. Bill wasn't saying he knew when he would leave this earth. His parents are well into their 80's and he could live that long or longer. But for the sake of numbering his days, he selected an average age and went through this exercise. I am going to go through the same exercise, and I would invite you to do the same.

Find out how many weekends you may have left on average, the number of days, the number of days with your children before they leave the home (consider too the time you are away from them if you work outside the home). Look at how many marbles have been used up as well.

Write it down. Look at the numbers.

May they awaken us to have a heart of wisdom, and to make the most of the time we have.

One thing I've realized as I have thought about this, the marble only travels one direction. You can't ever take a marble from the days we have spent and place it back into the days we have left. That marble is gone. That moment is gone. Never to be used again.

So teach us to number our days
   that we may get a heart of wisdom.


Amen.

Others

I can't shake it. It's a good thing. I have seen my sin and desire to change. My life still revolves around me. In many ways, I am still at the center of my universe.

AKA selfish and self-centered.

Our lives change when we meet Jesus. We taste and see that the Lord is good and we are forever changed. But if we're not careful, we can go on loving God and enjoying His presence in our lives, all the while still living isolated from people and their needs.

The older I get the more I am realizing that our love for God and what he has done for us should be played out in our interactions and love for others. So you say you love God? Show it by how you treat and love others. What good is that supposed love for God if you neglect the needs and never consider the interests of others? You say you would lose your life for Jesus, would you lose it for others? Would you lose it in terms of time, money, inconvenience, patience, prayer...?

Are you willing to lose your life for the church? The body?

Counting others more significant that ourselves, considering their needs and interests like or before our own takes a purposeful, conscience effort to do so. To reorient our lives like this requires a reorienting of our minds. And that is no small task. The changing and renewal of our mind doesn't always come easy. We need the help of the Holy Spirit. And He does. And He will.

How to Count

Like most people, I learned how to count when I was a kid. I must have been decent at counting as I went on to be a math major at college. However, the older I get I am realizing I need to learn how to count all over again.

However, the counting I am talking about has nothing to do with numbers. It has everything to do with people.

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3,4.

My buddy Tom Zurowski preached on killing the consumer mentality in us as believers yesterday.

It hurt. Bad.

But it's a good hurt in the end. I needed it.

I have heard as a Christian about loving others of course, and have tried walking it out. But yesterday the Lord through Tom's message was nailing me, and breaking me.

I'm not good at counting. I'm a consumer.

The Bible talks about counting others more significant, not looking just to my interests, but also looking to the interest of others.

I have a friend, Rich Knofsky, who was a great example of this to me. Him and his family were caught up "counting." You could tell. Their family was focused on and purposed to meet the needs of others. They were constantly reaching out to others - their lives were centered on Jesus, and as a result, they were centered on others as they should be as Christians. Again, I'm not sure why I've been so poor at counting.

I am realizing that my life is still, even after years of walking with the Lord, primarily focused on myself and my family. Now, we must focus on and meet the needs of our family, don't get me wrong, but if I or we as a family are never "counting" the interest of others, we are missing a huge part of being a follower of Jesus.

And, I'm not talking about an event here, or an occasional outreach to make me feel better. I am talking about it becoming the very fabric of who we are to count others more significant than ourselves, and to help to meet their needs and interests as a result.

In many ways I have had a difficult time putting into words what the Lord began speaking to me yesterday and still is. But I just kept thinking about a question: "Your willing to lay your life down for Me, are you willing to lay it down for others?" Am I willing to lay down my time, thoughts, prayers, energy, money - not just when it fits in my schedule - but also when it requires sacrifice, inconvenience and it doesn't feel good?

I thought I was good at counting. I'm realizing that I am not. But, I am desiring to change. Holy Spirit help me.

Perfect

I think I can live life perfectly on my own efforts. I wouldn't generally admit to that, but its what I [try to] do. I can feel it when the Holy Spirit or my wife calls me out on it. I'm caught up trusting in my own efforts and righteousness.

Romans 3:10-12 states,

as it is written:
   "None is righteous, no, not one;
 no one understands;
   no one seeks for God.
All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;
   no one does good,
   not even one."

Generally, this isn't an encouraging verse. And, it isn't. It's the bad news that precedes the good news in Christ spoken of later in the chapter. For me, the fact that no one is righteous, not even one, is also good news. It's good news because I can stop striving. Stop trying to live on my own accord, my own merit. Stop trying to earn His favor or acceptance, and instead receive it as a free gift.

While spending some time with the Lord this morning, this thought came to me:

Instead of trying to live this life perfectly; I need to trust in the Perfect One.

I read something similar to this in a tweet from someone I follow on Twitter yesterday. I don't know exactly what it said, but this truth came back to me at the right time this morning.

I. Can't. Do. It.

Ephesians 2:8-9 says,

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

It's never a burden to me to revisit the gift of God's grace. I'm accepted and declared righteous because of Jesus Christ this morning, not because of my own efforts. And it is by His grace, that I am empowered to live a holy life.

Ahhhh....

So once again, this morning, I surrender to your grace, Lord Jesus.

Boys Day Out

I had a great day today with my oldest son, Josiah. We needed this time together. It can be difficult in the midst of the busy-ness and worry of life to stop and actually engage and enjoy your kids. At least that is how it is for me. I many times allow myself to get so preoccupied with so many other things, that I never even take the time to look my children in the eyes and give them Daddy's full attention. And so day after day they are hungering for Daddy's affection, but Daddy's too engaged or weighed down by everything else to give them what they need.

I have many times talked about the need for the parents to have the hearts of their children, but how is that going to happen if the children don't even have the hearts of their parents.

And so Josiah and I had a boys-day-out.

8:15 am. Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Biscuit and Hot Cakes from McDonald's. Perfect way to start the day.

Then we headed on down to McCreary County, KY for a hike at Cumberland Falls.

It was awesome.

Beautiful day outside. Wonderful time with my son.

We didn't return home until early to mid afternoon, and shortly thereafter headed to hang out with several men from our church, The Chapel of Somerset. Josiah came with me and was able to play with his friends while I laid the smack down in cornhole (or got smacked around... one or the other :)

Anyway, I'm so thankful for our Daddy-Son day today. I loved it, and I think he did too :0)