Numbering Our Days

Moses, in Psalm 90, says,

So teach us to number our days
   that we may get a heart of wisdom.

I had heard this Scripture passage before (or one like it), but didn't really understand it until yesterday.

I've mentioned in another post that my boss and I have had some good conversations over the past several months. We as a company have been pushing and working hard to complete a massive project. It's an exciting and stressful season, and my boss, Bill, and I were talking about an upcoming event where the product will be sold. As we discussed, somehow the topic of the end and brevity of our lives came up.

And I'm glad it did.

Bill began sharing about a guy he once heard about who had a bunch of marbles and two containers of some sort. The man placed marbles representing the number of weekends he had left to live in one container, and the other container held the number of marbles that represented the weekends already spent. As each weekend went by, so one marble was taken out of the number of weekends left, and placed into the number of weekends spent.

Then Bill began an exercise of counting the number of weekends he has left in his life. He estimated the average age of a man to be say 72, and Bill is in his mid to upper fifties.

Talk about a wake up call.

He asked me at one point what would I do if I new I had only 15 years left of my life.

Again, a wake up call.

For some reason, I live as if I will live forever. I'm sure its part of being young, but it seems like at some point in a persons life, they realize that life doesn't really last forever. They realize that most of their life is behind them. Maybe they begin to number their days.

Moses asks the Lord to teach him to number his days, so that he might have a heart of wisdom. When we learn to number our days, it awakens us to the value and meaning in this very moment I now live. It teaches us to be thankful for every day I have on this earth, and to make the most of those days. I don't want to wait until I am older to learn to number my days, rather, I want to learn in my younger years. Life is much shorter than we many times realize.

None of us know when we are going to die. Bill wasn't saying he knew when he would leave this earth. His parents are well into their 80's and he could live that long or longer. But for the sake of numbering his days, he selected an average age and went through this exercise. I am going to go through the same exercise, and I would invite you to do the same.

Find out how many weekends you may have left on average, the number of days, the number of days with your children before they leave the home (consider too the time you are away from them if you work outside the home). Look at how many marbles have been used up as well.

Write it down. Look at the numbers.

May they awaken us to have a heart of wisdom, and to make the most of the time we have.

One thing I've realized as I have thought about this, the marble only travels one direction. You can't ever take a marble from the days we have spent and place it back into the days we have left. That marble is gone. That moment is gone. Never to be used again.

So teach us to number our days
   that we may get a heart of wisdom.


Amen.

Today

I had a great conversation with my boss today. In fact, we've had some real meaningful ones lately. He recently was born again, putting his faith and life in Christ. And you can see a change in him. As a result, we have had some really good conversations over the recent months.

Last weekend he went and saw the new movie Courageous. He said it changed his life (and has been on me making sure my wife and I go watch it). I started talking with him about how fast time flies in life and the importance of spending time with our children. Giving our time and attention to them. Focused attention.

You see, my boss is in his 50's and all his children are out on their own, starting their own families and having children (his beloved grandchildren). He retired from the military, and has done several business ventures on his own since then. He is an extremely hard worker and is good at what he does.

I say all this because it gives perspective regarding what he said to me. It was so simple, and yet, as I reflect on it, is profound in helping us become better fathers. He talked about how we say to our kids, "We'll play tomorrow." Or, "Let's do that later." He also talked about how the things he thought were so important then, aren't so important now.

Tomorrow. Later. Yea, I've said it. Sadly, many times, later never comes. As a poem I once read says, Tomorrow never comes. Dad gets (and is) preoccupied with everything else that utterly pales in comparison to my son's or daughter's heart and affection.

We don't understand how important and meaningful and weighty that moment is for them. We can understand some when we reflect on our childhood and our relationship with our parents. Dad and Mom are heroes, they're everything in many ways.

And yet all they hear might be, "Tomorrow."

I left the conversation so uplifted and encouraged to look into my children's eyes and give them the attention and affection they deserve, Today.

One of my fears is not enjoying life as it is here and now. Constantly looking to the next thing and not seizing the moments I have with my children here and now. I fear it because that is what I do - constantly toiling about everything in life but the things, or people, that really matter. My children are growing up way to fast as it is.

And yet, in that conversation with my boss was a hidden gem called "Today." Not tomorrow, but today. One of the secrets to living life to the fullest is living it today. Playing that game, today. Building that Lego model, today. Giving that affection, today. Looking in their eyes with distracted pleasure, today.

And so here it is, or gift, called Today. Tomorrow isn't garunteed. I've always know that, yet it hit me with more significance, today. That little decision of saying yes to today with my kids as opposed to tomorrow can have a profound impact on our relationship, their relationship with God, their future, and how they will one day raise their kids. As my boss said, the pattern needs to end with me, today.

One decision. One exchange in words. I won't do it tomorrow, I'll do it today.