Time... for Repentance

I am a horrible time manager.

I mean it. If I step out of the shower with 5 minutes left before I need to be somewhere, and it takes 5 minutes to get there, I think I'm OK. I must subconsciously think I will be translated from the bathroom to the vehicle immediately. It's like I become oblivious to how long it really takes to get myself ready to go!

5 minutes to drive + 15 minutes to get ready + 4 minutes in and out of the vehicle = 5 minutes. And I was a math major in college.

I got a problem. A tardy problem. A time problem. A selfish problem.

I had a great conversation with my Dad the other night. My family was down from NY visiting for Thanksgiving, and somehow in the midst of a late night conversation, we got on the topic of time. Being punctual.

My Dad retired from the military several years back now. He was trained at the Air Force Academy and spent his career as a pilot in the Air Force. One of the things that he said he learned is punctuality. Being late is unacceptable. In the military, being late can cost lives.

We got to talking about the message we send to people when we are late - "My time is more valuable than yours." When we are late for appointments, for getting home at night to see our family, for work (which is the same as stealing as my Dad kindly told me), we are saying, "What I was doing is more important than your time." And ultimately we are saying, "I am more important than you." I value me over valuing you.

It's not right. It's selfish, and like my Dad said, down right arrogant.

As a Christian, we are to love others as we love ourselves, we are to lay our lives down for one another, and to consider the needs of others as more important than our own. If I consider someone more important than me, I will consider their time more important than mine. I will be punctual out of love.

I have tried to make changes to my time habits in the past, but to no avail. I think in many ways I was dealing with the symptom and not the root problem. Our actions are preceded by our thoughts. I am late because of inner beliefs and convictions. I must change my beliefs, my thought patterns, my convictions, in order to change my actions, in order to be punctual.

So what is it that I believe that causes me to be late? Ultimately, I believe my time and what I am doing is more important than others' time and obligations. I am more important than you.

How selfish and arrogant of me. And that's not all. Add hypocrite to that list. I've realized that I demand the very thing I don't give to others - punctuality and respect of my time. I'll get bent out of shape if others are late, while holding myself to a different standard. I can be late, because what I was doing was more important than what you need to do.

Ouch. Talk about a need for repentance, a complete shift in thinking.

Honoring someones time is honoring them. It's treating them the way you would want to be treated, which is simply being a Christian.

How to Count

Like most people, I learned how to count when I was a kid. I must have been decent at counting as I went on to be a math major at college. However, the older I get I am realizing I need to learn how to count all over again.

However, the counting I am talking about has nothing to do with numbers. It has everything to do with people.

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3,4.

My buddy Tom Zurowski preached on killing the consumer mentality in us as believers yesterday.

It hurt. Bad.

But it's a good hurt in the end. I needed it.

I have heard as a Christian about loving others of course, and have tried walking it out. But yesterday the Lord through Tom's message was nailing me, and breaking me.

I'm not good at counting. I'm a consumer.

The Bible talks about counting others more significant, not looking just to my interests, but also looking to the interest of others.

I have a friend, Rich Knofsky, who was a great example of this to me. Him and his family were caught up "counting." You could tell. Their family was focused on and purposed to meet the needs of others. They were constantly reaching out to others - their lives were centered on Jesus, and as a result, they were centered on others as they should be as Christians. Again, I'm not sure why I've been so poor at counting.

I am realizing that my life is still, even after years of walking with the Lord, primarily focused on myself and my family. Now, we must focus on and meet the needs of our family, don't get me wrong, but if I or we as a family are never "counting" the interest of others, we are missing a huge part of being a follower of Jesus.

And, I'm not talking about an event here, or an occasional outreach to make me feel better. I am talking about it becoming the very fabric of who we are to count others more significant than ourselves, and to help to meet their needs and interests as a result.

In many ways I have had a difficult time putting into words what the Lord began speaking to me yesterday and still is. But I just kept thinking about a question: "Your willing to lay your life down for Me, are you willing to lay it down for others?" Am I willing to lay down my time, thoughts, prayers, energy, money - not just when it fits in my schedule - but also when it requires sacrifice, inconvenience and it doesn't feel good?

I thought I was good at counting. I'm realizing that I am not. But, I am desiring to change. Holy Spirit help me.