Hero, or Zero?

What happens if you are a hero outside your home, but a zero inside of it? What if you are praised by the masses, yet scorned by those closest to you? What good is your reputation if it's only good on the surface?

Some how, men can be celebrated at the office, yet disconnected and indifferent in the home. And I would venture to say most of the time, it's the man's fault.

It's one thing to serve on the job, it's another to serve as a lifestyle. You can put on an act of kindness, engagement and leadership for 8 hours, then detach once you cross the threshold of your home.

The wife and kids look for leadership, appreciation and love, and they get disconnected gazes and half-hearted conversations.

So they look elsewhere.

Who would blame them? How often do you try to drink from an empty well? When do you stop going back because it hurts too much?

I know of this because I am that man.

I am the detached husband, the disconnected Daddy.

I work hard to fulfill the dreams of others, yet leave the dreams of those closest to me unfulfilled. I can feel their longing glances directed my way, but how long will they keep looking? At what point will they look elsewhere? They look to me, and when I need answers the most, when something of substance and love and manhood is most desired,

I come up empty.

Over and over.

I have nothing to give.

I have prayed to the Lord, the Father. The One who loves, is love, and the closer you get, the greater His love. The One who always gives us His full attention, the One who never leaves us empty to look elsewhere.

I need His help.

I see the issue, but something must change. Recognizing a problem is a cheap gift. Change must ensue.

I want my wife and kids to look my way, and not come up empty, anymore.